In real life…what does that even mean anymore? It is 12am on a Saturday night and questions like this keep me tossing and turning (how philosophical of me…you can just start calling me Aristotle)
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my blog, my instagram and all of you, the ones who make any of this possible. Who is Tresnams? Is she a part of me (I’m getting all horcrux-y on you guys…lol shout out to my fellow HP fans who understood that) or is she her own person all together. I mean, we have the same likes and dislikes, the same taste in food and fashion, but there is something different about her. She always seems put together. The cute outfits with the perfect latte art topped off with the perfect filter. Her weekends seem eventful and her vacations seem awesome. She seems to be the type of girl who works out and donates her clothes to charity. So then, who exactly is this Nam chick? What does she do on the weekends? Does she also enjoy eating RX bars and vegan pizza?
The answer is both yes and no.
This business of blogging is interesting. I think of it like a movie trailer or a sports highlight reel. You are seeing some of the best moments of my life. You are seeing Steph Curry’s 4th quarter buzzer beater not his 4th quarter ejection (this just happened today ok…still bitter) As influencers we want to put ourselves out there to be liked, pinned, retweeted, saved, shared, snapped and so on. But ironically, when I comes to the tough stuff we keep that to ourselves. You see my breakfast but not my breakdowns. You know exactly what time I get my Matcha latte every morning, but don’t know about my anxiety that keeps me up at night…which is why I need a Matcha latte every morning in the first place.
All this being said, I think that there is some beauty to social media. It is my escape. A place where I can scroll away from some of life’s problems. I can see delicious food, gorgeous clothes, serene vacations and babies..LOTS of cute babies. But at some point you become numb to the glamour. You start to compare yourself to other people’s “fabulous” lives. You find yourself staring at the same Helen Owen bikini pic for 10 mins straight. I always feel that if people would post even a few pics of their non-glam moments…all of us would feel a much deeper connection to each other. Like “hey leather pants make you feel like a stuffed Italian sausage too?? SAME GIRL SAME!!!”
I don’t want to bore you guys with the mundane moments of my life. Like imagine me posting photos of myself scrubbing through excel spreadsheets in the office, or folding my laundry. But at the same time, I want you guys to know… that side of me exists. I want you to know that yes I do choose to eat clean but I literally crave Taco Bell and Cinnamon Rolls everyday. I do go to the gym, but the entire time I am there I want to cry. I do wear cute clothes but a lot of the time I feel really insecure about the way I look.
To me, Tresnams and Nam represent different moments of my life, but at the end of the day still my REAL life. There are good moments (which end up on IG) and there are bad moments which I sometimes choose to keep to myself. You guys are the sole reason that I am able to pursue this passion of mine. The support that all of you have shown me has allowed me to open up and feel comfortable writing about things like this. And for that reason, I will try my best to include you in all aspects of my life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I am going to challenge myself to get comfortable with the idea that not every day is a perfect day…and that is okay. Thank you thank you thank you. Every comment and message means more to me than you will ever know.
Xoxo Nams (IRL)